Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hi Ladies!!
I am.... doing average.  I haven't been exercising every day like I planned, but I haven't been slack either.  I have been eating more than I want to, but not A LOT. 
Passover starts tomorrow evening and I am going to participate.  Nothing leavened... and my jewish friend says they try to stay away from anything with wheat as well, just to be safe.  So... no corn, no bread... no beer!
I have been considering cutting out alcohol until I go to Vegas.  I got SO wasted last night that I walked around naked for a minute
Ooops... friend is coming. I'll update later

Friday, March 26, 2010

its bathing suit season again....
i want to get so small i just disappear.
i want to have no embarrassment.
i want a tan, and no stretch mrks, and no weird bumps or bruising anywhere
i want to be perfect
i want to be skinny

Monday, March 22, 2010

I am SO SORRY I have been MIA.  Stupid boys.... this guy, Sprite.... he has taken over my thoughts and my life and everything. UGH.
We had our first date on Saturday.  It was a beautiful day and we went to the park for hours and just sat around and talked.  I made soup for dinner, and we watched a movie and drank wine.  It was realllly fun :)  He spent the night (on the couch), but i pulled him into bed with me at 8:30 and we slept/cuddled until almost noon!  No wonder I have been feeling fat... I have had a huge lack of exercise!

My p90x is not going great... I feel bad for letting Harlow down... but I can start again this week! Promise!  Sprite wants to come over tonight after my meeting but I am seriously considering turning him down so I can work out.  If only I would wake up early to work out.... :(

Has anyone seen alice and wonderland yet?  was it good?

The only thing I plan on eating today is soup.. yummmm

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Thank you Zoe and KSgirl  for your comments :)  Love ya!!!
And you are right.  A good lay is hard to find!!!

Stephen called last night and asked me to dinner this evening.  We are cooking or something?  Sounds fine to me.  I just figure having guys in my life... even if I don't want to lay them, are good for my self esteem.  And they help to pass the time!
I met a new boy this weekend-  we can call him Sprite.  He is very sweet and we have been chatting a bit over IM.  I have heard only good things about him from mutual friends... and he has asked me to do something "fun" this weekend.
The only thing I don't like about dating is that they take up so much time!!  I have been super into exercising recently, and how can I keep it up!?
I did a bit of p90x yesterday.  30 minutes maybe.  I should have done more, but I was getting very very winded.  My calves still hurt from the hike.  Food wise I was good.  Vegetables for lunch, then pub food for dinner at a work happy hour.  A total of probably 1000 cals... no more :)
I wish the scale would go down.  That would be amazing.

Love ya!

Monday, March 15, 2010

i tried to wake up early to do my p90x video but i just couldnt.  booo.  and now its getting late and i reallly dont want to go to work.
stephen was okay.  we went hiking, then to mexican.  he is very interesting.  he doesn't turn me on.  god i am so picky.  oh well... i can be.  im mad at him because he is hung up on his ex girlfriend and told me he is not "emotionally available."  so no kissing.  why cant i just get laid!?!?  a GOOD lay!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

So.... Harlow and I have decided that we are going to do p90x together... a motivational tool that will keep at least me on track!!  How can I NOT do it if I know shes doing it!? ya know!?

So... today was Core work... and honestly, I only got through like 30 minutes of the work out.  That sh*t is HARD... and I have a date here in a little while where we'll be hiking... same hike I did for my birthday.  I figured that would be a great way to get to know someone... getting all sweaty :)
This kid is in college (yuck) but he is tall, and he has a great major :)
Okay... sorry. I guess I need to explain.  My three main qualifications to be someone I date:
1) taller than me ( because taller men are more successful in life- true fact!)
2) older than me ( because men mature slower than women)
3) makes more money than me ( because who doesn't like money!?)

So this guy--- we'll call him Stephen (because that is his name), he is tall :), but still in school... so no money, and is a year younger than me :( :(.  BUT-- I don't think that I'm searching for a life mate from him... so whatever.  He is someone who can help me enjoy my life, and his girlfriend just moved away, so seriously... nothing serious will be happening!
ANYWAY- I met him at my birthday party last week and we are going out today-- we were going to do drinks but i feel like that is just toooo generic.  So we are going hiking.  We'll see if he can keep up!

So my core workout- I cut it short so I could actually function on my hike.  I think I should eat something before I go too... because I don't want to be passing out.. how about veggies?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

took an adderall today.
Ate: coffee with creamer, salad, a small bit of cupcake, skinny vanilla latte, 20ish almonds, a glass of wine, squash/okra/ground lean beef.  Total of 1000, max. :)
Then I did p90x for an hour, worked out my legs and back!
I have the dizzy feeling today.  If only it wasn't TOM, then maybe I would weigh myself tomorrow and see some improvement!
It is late, and I need to shower and head to bed.

I love you ladies :)
A quick tuesday update...
I refuse to weigh in because its my TOM.... and probably because I would break down seeing the huge number on the scale and knowing that it won't go down after I am finished.
I miss being skinny.  I wore this pretty dress at my birthday party, but I couldn't help thinking how I had other, prettier dresses I could have worn if I were thin.
It is pretty noticable in my face.

Yesterday as far as food-- 1 medium smoothie (300), 1 glass of wine (150), 1 bag of fritos (150), 1.5 avacado rolls (???), half a plate of calamari (400??)
Over 1000.... thats not good.
Shouldn't have gone to dinner.. I would have gone to the gym if I hadn't.
Hopefully tonight.

Having salad for lunch today.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

today i am 24.  i feel old.
i went and hiked a mountain to prove to myself that i am not old.
its just a small mountain.
i do not love progressive, and i dont think that i will ever love him.
i do not know how to tell him.  i like him as a person, but we are not meant to be...
not that i have any other options at the moment.
had a fantastic party last night. ugh hungover this morning but totally worth it!
maybe 24 will be the year i get back into shape.

Friday, March 5, 2010

i dont have anything to say.
I am fat today

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Yesterday it snowed in Georgia.  For like... the 3rd time this winter.  Oh but its going to be close to 70 this weekend.
Global warming.... or cooling... or ozoning.  Just bad!

Today I have woken up in a bad mood.  I dont know why.  I had a very productive day yesterday.  I worked at a client and so I went home early and finished up from home, I was able to go grocery shopping, prepare salad, and guacamole.  I also watched biggest loser, cut coupons, and relaxed.  So I should be happy today.  I had a small break.  But I guess I want more.  I don't want to go to work today.  I am at a client again today... although this one is different and I'll be there for a while.
I want the weekend.
I want to love progressive.  I wish I did.  I want to not do what I always do and keep my mouth shut and pretend to be happy.  He really is great... I just.... well to be honest I can't get over the bad sex.  If sex was amazing, maybe I would feel differently.  But then again its not like I can tell him that, if I did sex would be awkward and terrible!  Oh wait....  well you know what I mean.
I am not sore from my workout yesterday.  I think I may need to get bigger weights.

and i weigh 145.2 or 146.2  the scale hates me.  i hate myself today.
I need a chill pill or today could go badly.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I am endorsing a new blog  Finding Half, I like it a lot :)
So I did my dumb video this morning instead of last night.. ugh.  At least today it wasn't really sweattastic... arms and shoulders... so just free weights.  And i only have 5 pound weights, so I don't find it too difficult!
The bad thing about working out in the morning is that then I shower and my hair is wet and I have to spend time getting pretty.. or just choose to look silly... which is probably where I'll head for today!

Ugh... yesterday there were bagels at work.  I had two throughout the day.  For lunch I had meatloaf that is completely no carb-- it was delicious and Im not sure if its exactly healthy, but it definitely made up for my dumb intake of bagels.  I made squash last night for dinner... surprisingly!  I can't believe I actually cooked.  And cleaned!  too bad the cleaning ruined my brand new manicure!  Sometimes I am so dumb.

And weight today was 145.2
You would think that the working out would help... but I guess not.
Progressive wants to get together tonight.  Idk what we will do... hopefully not sex.