Thursday, December 30, 2010

Went to Carrabbas with the boy yesterday.  1 martini, 1 beer, 1/2 plate of manicotti, 2 small fried risotto ball thingys.  Of course Carrabba's doesn't post their nutrition information... but I looked on some health websites for how much my meal might be.  I think the drinks are 300, maybe 400? Manicotti is different on different websites, but the highest I've seen for Carrabba's is 640 for 2 rolls, and I had 1.  So lets say 300.  I'm just babbling and I need to stop.  Here is the tattoo.  Is this picture too small for you to see?  Here is a link for a bigger version.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Doctor said nothing is wrong with me.  A pH imbalance.  Just taking meds for 3 days and I'll be fine.  The tattoo looks lovely, and I'll post pictures ASAP.
Today was the first time I've been able to change my weight loss side bar since re-starting my blog.  I've weighed in at 144.x for the last 2 mornings... so I think it is safe to say that I am down a few pounds.
Christmas for me wasn't that great.  My boy got me some "thoughtful" but "useless" gifts... and was not exactly gracious when I have him his gift.  I exchanged one of his gifts at best buy and put some money and the store credit towards a new heart rate monitor.  I got a Polar F7, and I've taken it out and set it, but I haven't used it yet because my tattoo is right where the chest strap hits, and I'm not willing to mess it up.  Did go to the gym Sunday and Monday (yoga and weight class), but have been generally inactive.  Need to pick that up, but stress at work is just killing me.
Have put myself back on my old antidepressants for a while to see if I can pick up my mood during busy season at work.  Don't want to start throwing up like before and ruin my teeth.

I don't have any plans for new years... hmmm I want to go to New Years Day spin class... so hopefully I don't do anything crazy.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

nothing new to report.  i don't feel well.  there is something wrong with me.  i have a doctor's appointment this morning, and hopefully he can tell me what's up.  but i haven't wanted to blog because literally nothing has been happening.  working a lot.... exercising a little... trying to keep a deficit.  Yesterday was a big fat fail, but oh well.  I decided not to even record it because it would just depress me to find out how bad it was.  maybe i'm feeling ill because of the shit i ate yesterday... or maybe because i'm afraid of what the doctor will tell me.  all in all, my other days have been pretty good though.  as i wind down 2010, i'm pretty happy with the way things have turned out.

i'll be getting my tattoo on sunday-- one year from the date of the incident, one year from the date i decided i could do it on my own.  it is very fitting.  i'll definitely upload a picture for y'all.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

i want to update.. but i have nothing to say.  The last two days I have had net calories... same in as burned.  No good.  Out to dinner both nights.  I want to fast today but I have a feeling I'll be taken to lunch because I have an out of town visitor at work...  Maybe I can fast dinner to dinner tonight through tomorrow.  Although I'm finding that fasting isn't causing weight loss... I lose a lot the next day, but probably mostly water weight, even though I'm drinking a lot.  Then the next day I gain it all back.  My goal is to lose a pound by new years.  More would be good... but I'm going to keep track of total calories burned/eaten and hopefully will net a -3500! 

Monday, December 13, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

i'm depressed.. ugh i don't know what's wrong with me.  isn't life supposed to be fun?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

weighed last night and was 147.4... so obviously the 144 was just a trick.  i don't understand why... i know I didn't eat the day before, but I drank plenty of liquids so I shouldn't have been dehydrated at all.

just now, in the AM, I was 146.  In the right direction I suppose.... looking forward to spin class on saturday morning. Seems like that's the only time I can really get one in these days.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

even though i ate some dinner the night before, i still decided to liquid fast all of yesterday.  I'm happy to say I completed 24 hours food free.... except for the 3 hershey's kisses I accidently ate.  You ever just put something in your mouth without thinking about it.  UGH.. I'm an idiot.  I also went to the gym to get all the way to 24 hours... and burned maybe 300 calories in 45 minutes.  When I got home I ate hummus and a pepper, a few pita chips, a glass of wine, and a quarter of an avocado.  Adding everything together from dinner the night before, I came out with a 800 cal deficit... not too bad.  Could have been higher if I didn't have the wine... oh well.
Today is a normal eating day.  Just had Kashi cereal with milk, and I heated up a veggie chik'n patty for lunch.  The boy-friend wasn't able to come yesterday and so he's coming tonight, although today I don't feel as pretty or as well put together.... ahhh oh well. 
The scale rewarded me with 144.4  Haven't seen 144 in a LONG time.  Wondering why I was 147 yesterday.... maybe I didn't drink enough water yesterday and I'm a bit dehydrated.  I never trust a lower number.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

i'm lacking will power.  i had planned to do another fast.  starting with dinner last night, and going to dinner today.  I entered all my calories in up to when i left work, and that was going to be it.  when I got home i dont know... i just, didn't stop eating.  I had pita and hummus, then went to my friend's house for a tv show and had a bit of lasagna, and some M&Ms.  Thankfully I passed on the wine!  So... I put the food in today's count (like.. 600 calories or something insane).. and I plan on liquid fasting til dinner (tea and coffee and powerade), but my boy-friend is coming over for dinner so I definitely have to eat.

well, one step at a time.  haven't had a chance to exercise, so I need to take this seriously.  just get through today, then we can think about tomorrow!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

I read in Women's Health that an average woman needs about 420 minutes of moderate exercise every week to maintain her weight without changing her diet.  That is 60 minutes of exercise every day.  And I guess that means if you aren't exercising on one day, you need to be cutting calories big time that day.

Last night I went to a Hanukkah party... it was super fun but they had lots of delicious food which I participated in eating.

Today I am having a tall glass of milk for breakfast, a lean cuisine for lunch, an apple and a pear.  Not sure about dinner.  Have a happy hour at 6:30 planned for my volunteer organization but there is no way I can go if work is crazy, and if I want to exercise, and if I want to NOT stuff my face.  Sucks to skip events in the name of health.. but, sometimes you have to do it!

On another note-- rant:  I am white.  The guy I am dating is black.  None of my friends seem to care.  My parents don't care.  I'm pretty sure his parents don't care (although I wouldn't really know as we are JUST dating...)  Apparently friends he's known his whole life have been calling him up  to bitch about face book pictures of him and me.  They aren't even romantic pictures.. we're literally just sitting next to each other.  Some of his black friends have said to him something along the lines of "I can't believe you would date someone below your standards" and "why would you date her when you can date a black woman."  I realize that this is not a personal attack, it is based on my skin color and not my soul.. but it still hurts my feelings.  It's like reverse racism!  Oh well.. I think he's handling it well... telling these individuals that he has no plans to associate with them any longer because they are obviously not the type of friends he wants in his life.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

i was at 1300 calories after dinner.  SO good.  I was so balanced, and healthy!!!  then i ate pringles... half a tin.  I should never have bought them.  They weren't even that good.  I purged.  UGH.  I promised to never do it again... I SUCK.  Seriously... I PROMISED.  I feel so bad about myself right now, because I can't even keep a promise to myself.

I want to just throw the rest away... can I waste $$ like that?