Thursday, September 29, 2011

I am definitely doing better.  I am down 2 lbs and have gone to the gym pretty consistently since my last post.  I had my brother in town this weekend which meant lots of entertaining and lots of drinking/great food... but I tried to balance it out, and since Sunday I've done my best to only put healthy things in my body!

I am having an emotional breakdown, which is never fun.  For some reason I can't seem to shake the feeling that my boyfriend doesn't love me any more.  I have absolutely no basis for these thoughts... except for the fact that he doesn't say "I love you", only "I love you too."  And that is typical male, nothing to do with me.  Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how much I tell myself I'm being irrational, I'm still feeling this way.  Maybe I need my meds adjusted.

Boyfriend is also on a diet, which is more motivation for me to get skinny.  He had lost a lot of weight right before we started dating and has slowly been putting it back on.  We eat out all the time, and get frozen yogurt, and drink a bottle of wine in a sitting, etc.  This morning we were supposed to go to the gym together but the Braves were playing a big game and he wanted to stay up and watch it and by the time we got to bed and actually fell asleep, it was 1 am.

I'm trying to work on balancing out all the good stuff I'm doing with a little bit of bad stuff so I don't go crazy.  For instance, I'm considering going to the food trucks today at lunch to get a fish taco.  They are absolutely delicious, and probably pretty bad for you.  Honestly though, I'm not sure that's worth it to me right now.  Boyfriend and I are going on a double date tomorrow where there will be alcohol and dessert abound. 
I will eat a power bar for breakfast, a lean cuisine for lunch, and I'm going to someone's house for RoshHashana tonight.... where I intend to be good.

Everyone have a good day!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I have been MIA forever!!!  I've been reading pretty regularly, but no comments.  I like reading my new blogs, but I do I miss the old people.  I wonder if they've become like me?  Too consumed with life to write about their constant fears... or just giving up because it hasn't worked yet?

Most of you know that I am a CPA and work ridiculous hours most times of year.  I just finished a "busy season" ending September 15th... a month and a half where i did not see the inside of a gym.  We literally worked 12-15 hour days.  Sitting constantly.  THAT is my life.  It wasnt like my other busy season I've told you about, where I dont eat all day because I'm sitting all day at a client.  When I'm in the office, there is food everywhere.  Candy, catered lunches, bagels and donuts for breakfast.  It's insane.  Mind you, I only gained 3.5 pounds.  I call that a win..  because it is losable.  And my boyfriend and I are on a health streak to get the weight off.  I went to the gym Sunday and Monday, and I intend to keep it up.  I don't like the flabby untoned look I'm rocking right now.  I also want to do some eat-stop-eat work... but it can be difficult to fit that in.  I definitely can't fast today because I have a coworker in from out of town and am doing lunch with work people and dinner with her boyfriend.  Tomorrow I have dinner plans but could potentially fast until then.  I bought a lot of healthy foods this weekend- carrots, pears, turkey breast, whole wheat sandwich thins, hummus, whole grain cereal.  I need to EAT it, instead of letting it go to waste because I eat candy all day then feel bad.

Ahh well, I'll try to keep updating.  Good luck to me!!