13 hours down-- and I'm about to take a shower and go to bed.  Did buy some "binge" food at the grocery store (nuts, bugels), but then I put them in individual serving baggies.  I also bought pringles.  THAT was a bad idea.  I'm planning to bring them to functions when I need to not come empty handed.

At the end of hour 6 of my fast.  Ha.  I don't feel like giving up yet... but I'm going to a spin class in 2 hours, and then grocery shopping.  Hopefully I can keep a handle on putting things in the cart "just because"

So, I keep track of calories (I'm sure all of you do).
In the 4 weeks of November, I had a calorie deficit of 4,600 calories.  REALLY?!? 28 days in 4 weeks, so that's a defict of about 165 calories A DAY.  How pathetic am I!?  Like, super pathetic if you ask me.

I think this settles that I am going to try intermittent fasting. Harlow suggested fasting an entire day--- but Harlow, if you stop eating before bed on Monday, don't eat all day Tuesday, then start eating Wednesday morning, that's at least 30 hours of fasting.  I think I read that you don't hit starvation mode until 46 hours or maybe 76 hours??  Well either way-- I will be doing a 24 hours fast on Tuesday.  Not sure about the specifics, but I'm doing it!

i feel like i did decent yesterday.  i didn't take a walk, but i helped do some light cleaning for about an hour.  i had a little stuffing, and a little turkey at dinner, but mostly i ate too many potatoes.  BOO on me.  I ended up with a deficit if you don't count the 3 pieces of chocolate i ate before bed.  I think I should count that in today's total, don't you?  God can you believe each lindor truffle has 80 calories!?  God if I had known that, I might not have eaten any!!  So... today (11am) 455 calories.... about 250 from yesterday that I'm rolling over... GAHHHH.

I am considering participating in Eat Stop Eat.  This is a program created by Brad Pilon, who is a nutritionist and researcher.  Now, I haven't bought the e-book, but from the reviews I have read, it seems like the point of the program is to engage in "Intermittent Fasting" one to two days per week.  The other days, you can eat like you want.  Obviously the lower calorie/healthier food you eat, the better results you see.  But it sounds like the science is that 24 hours of fasting won't ruin your metabolism...  Any type of intermittent fasting can work this way-- I remember trying Fast 5 for a while in college-- you eat 5 hours out of each day, don't eat the remaining 19.  I found this way too difficult.  I couldn't eat breakfast or lunch all day, every day.. and then I basically stuffed my face from 5-10pm every day. 
Here is an article about intermittent fasting in general... what are your thoughts?  In the Eat Stop Eat program, your 24 hour fast starts at dinner time and ends at dinner time, so you are still technically eating every day.  What do you think about the possibility of stuffing your face when you finally are allowed to eat?  Would that be an issue?

being at my parent's house sucks.  there is food everywhere.  seriously... bagels, muffins, ice cream, chips, biscuits.  where is the fruit and vegetables?  I've been taking walks (4miles), but it is no match for my intake of bad food.  i will not weigh myself here for fear of a heart attack.  today is thanksgiving (happy thanksgiving-- i am thankful for my faithful readers!), so of course we will have a lot of food... maybe i can avoid most of it.  the only thing I REALLY want is stuffing anyway.  And you know, I had stuffing last week... a lot of it.  And it's called stuffing for a reason-- because it stuffs you and makes you fat.  So... since I had it last week, I know what it tastes like, I can remember exactly.... I don't think it's wise to have any today.  Maybe a bite to placate my father.  We'll see.

887 calories so far... all sugar/carbs.... great.
it looks wet outside, but i am going to brave the cold and take a walk.  looked for my exercise videos, wonder what i did with them.

i am feeling insanely large today.  i am in NY with my parents.  my plan was to not eat much at all here... save money, get skinny, be happy.  there are a lot of foods my family eats that I'm not interested in touching, but they also have food for snacking on that I have a hard time passing up.
also, the family gym membership was canceled... so i can't go to the gym.  there is a bowflex downstairs... I just have to figure out how to dust it off and make it work, if i want to use it.  I used to work out at home when i was in high school-- i did videos and stuff in my room.  i was so good.  i also didn't eat... like ever.  i always have this idea that when i come home i will fall back into the same pattern... but i guess i have really changed.  everything changes huh? i guess i just need to do it.  i need to try.  i can take a walk, i can use an exercise video.  i can find things to do other than eat.  i need some motivation!!!

my male friend came over for dinner last night and I made one of those wanchai ferry dishes... have you ever seen them in the frozen section?  "Chinese at Home"
They are delicious... I substituted brown rice for the white rice (mostly because I don't have a microwave), and I gave him more than half, so I'm thinking my portion was a little less than 500 cals.  Then I made those sugar cookies that have festive shapes on them (turkeys this time), and I had 2 (120 cals), and a Becks. 

So my total calories yesterday were about 1500- which is not bad really, seeing as how I did go spinning... and I ended up with a 530 calorie deficit yesterday.

I have two small rants- if you don't want me to ruin your day you can stop reading here:
1) has anyone noticed the influx of bloggers who claim to be eating disordered, but are really just teenagers who are struggling with self identity and trying to control something in their crazy world?  I'm not going to name names, but just give this small piece of advice:

I starved myself for most of highschool, and the first half of college.  I had to have 8 of my teeth replaced from purging after college was over.  I was thin, and beautiful, and happy, but I am paying for the consequences now.  I go through phases of not caring what I eat, to counting each tiny calorie (like right now), and obsessively exercising.  Be happy that you have a teenage body- they are the best.  And don't try the fad diets, they don't work. 

2) yesterday i had sex with my male friend 2 times, and he was extremely selfish both times... the first time i mean, it was better than the second, but he put me on top and that was it... seriously, don't initiate sex if it's not going to be good.

Ok, that's it.  I am going to have a good day!  I have to go out to lunch for a coworker's birthday, but I'll eat yummy yummy salad or soup.

i have been deathly afraid to weigh in for the past week.. but I did it today and was 145.2... is that good?  Idk, I guess it's a step in the right direction.  God.. what I would give to be under 140.  BUT, only 5.2 pounds to do it.  That's a month of eating healthy and exercising.  Really the problem isn't eating healthy, it's eating too much. 

Breakfast and Lunch for today:

Kashi Cereal with nonfat milk
Banana
Pear
Baby Carrots
Chicken Slices on Sandwich Thin
Yogurt

That comes out to 800 calories.  That leaves 400 calories for dinner. And if I make it to work soon, then I can expect to make it to spin class at 5:30.  Probably should go get ready instead of dilly-dallying (lol)

Have a good day everyone :)

i am so pissed.
on a business trip.  bringing ALL this healthy food.  nuts, fruit, rice cakes, etc.  Swearing to only eat salads at lunch.
counted my calories yesterday--- 90 over!  WTF!!!!!  I feel like This can't be happening!  I'm trying SO hard here, making GREAT choices.  and this is what I get?!  How am I eating too much!?

Here is what I had:
b.  banana and fiber one bar
s.  almonds
l.  southwestern chicken salad with no dressing and no tortilla chips, roll
s. 1 fun size twix
d. mozzarella caprese salad, 4 jumbo shrimp, bread
s. pistachios

if I had cut out the bread at both of these places, I would have been maybe 300 under.  maybe I can try to exercise these next few days.  Monday and Tuesday I've had other work to do that kept me in my hotel room.

i feel bloated.  this week i'm getting my period.. so i guess that is to be expected.  i also feel like i need to be cleaned out... fruits and veggies today i guess?
i feel sore all over too... just sort of tight muscles i cant do much about.  i should take the time to stretch.. who really has time these days? at the gym i do a battery of cardio equipment occasionally followed by weights, and i am running out the door to get back and shower and go to work.  Impressed with myself that I've gone to the gym twice in the morning this week.. without a trainer!  I am definitely not doing as well on the exercise front without her... but it is also a matter of being busy at work, and not getting to those cardio classes I love.  Tonight I am going to a concert-- has anyone heard of Anberlin?  I feel like I am possibly the only one on the face of the earth!!

I plan to just have beer or something at the concert tonight for dinner.  Maybe rice and fruit today for breakfast and lunch?  Maybe oatmeal and fruit?  Damn, I need to go grocery shopping!

gotta take a recruit out for dinner tonight.. here is the question-- do i starve myself all day so I can eat something decent, or do I go to this fancy restaurant, and order....salad.
OR... do I starve myself AND eat salad.

My thinking is...
breakfast: brown rice (left overs)
lunch: subway-- maybe in a salad instead of in bread? but probably not
dinner: appetizer and side salad

I'm not sure if this is at all a good idea.