okay i feel a bit more composed.  I ate a salad for breakfast/lunch, and I did P90X shoulders and arms... although... it is the easiest one.. so I guess I shouldn't feel proud of myself.
I need a plan.  I need to be like Harlow.  A few months ago, she made a comment that said "we have the same body type"... we were about the same weight.  Since this time, she has managed to drop 15 pounds, and I have managed to drop... -1?  She has an amazing drive.  She writes about how she works out with her boyfriend, works out by herself, works out all the time.  And she fasts.  And she doesn't purge.  Can anyone get more perfect???
I wish I had that drive.. that motivation that makes you WANT something.  I don't though.  I don't want it bad enough do I?  Well, thats not true.  I REALLY REALLY want it.  But I am not willing to work hard for it.  Instead I just act like my life is so awful because weight doesn't just fall off of me.  See... THIS is what makes me so dumb.
Maybe I should make a plan for this week!?
I have a lot of salad-  It has grilled chicken in it, and I have fat free Caesar dressing I can use.
I have fruit, and yogurt, and cheese.  I am going to say that this week I will NOT be eating any fried okra.  And I will NOT be going out to eat at all.  And I WILL eat breakfast, because its good for you.
Breakfasts-- cereal with milk?  yogurt? fruit?
Lunches-- salads?  soups? starbucks lattes?
Dinners-- lean cuisines? salads? grilled chicken?  shrimp?

Exercise Goal-- 200 minutes this week.

See... now I feel better.