Monday, May 17, 2010

i don't know where I have been.  Working.  Not working out.  Moving. Sleeping.  Eating.  Living.  Its weird.  I feel empty a little.
I haven't gained.... but I have lost a lot of tone I think.  I had a lot of sex this weekend and I feel worn out.  My body hurts... like I wasn't fit enough to do it.  This was with the boy from Vegas.  The one I don't deserve.  After meeting in person after that one night, and then weeks of phone chatting-- he is still as good as ever.  I was only disappointed with myself.  I just cannot understand why anyone so beautiful would be interested in someone like me... and interesting and funny and everything I want in a partner.  And he said all the right things, and he said them so convincingly.  About how much he liked me, about how he could see us together, about how our children would be beautiful, about how he would consider moving here, about how he doesn't want sex from anyone else, he only wants me.  And I believed him.
I am on the road again this week for work.
I have been purging with stress but will try to stop this week
I miss you all-- I'll try and come back soon/


  1. Listen to him, he can see you the way you can't, without an ed in the way. Of course you deserve to be with someone who is everything you want and who makes you happy. Everyone does. I know it's hard to accept, I've been with my guy for eight years and I still feel that little twinge of disbelief. But try to allow yourself to be happy.

  2. I've been missin' you.

    catch up on the blog love! (L)