a) I need to delete that side bar about my deficit challenge because its just depressing. I obviously didn't end up doing it.... and I won't be 125 by June.
b) I haven't heard from the doctor yet, and I've been hesitant to post on another topic... I don't know why. I hate not having control.
c) speaking of not having control, one of my brothers just failed his first year of college, and has moved back in with my parents. They set some ground rules like he needs to get a job if he wants to live there... but he basically refused. When they told him to leave, he apparently jumped off the roof of my house after taking tons of asprin or something. How sad... and what an obvious cry for help. He is in the hospital for some mental evaluations, and I hope he gets the help he needs. I hate that I can't do anything. I wish I could just say "get a job" or "freaking do your homework you idiot"... but he isn't me. Obviously that is not something that works for him.
d) My love life, my work life, and my home life (above), have been stressful and hectic. I have been turning to exercise of a way of coping. Not to mention I ate an entire bag of chips ahoy cookies in 2 days... how's that for coping?! I have the insane urge to exercise ALL the time. Maybe to gain back some control? After the 5k I took a week off of running... it was all I was doing, and the only exercises I was getting, so instead I did a weight class, spin class, and yoga. It was definitely nice. This week I'm back to running but I am also taking the time to do weights and yoga and spin.
In my couch to 5k, I am repeating week 6 which is what I ran the week of the 5k, because I didn't finish it all, and its the last week before things get super super tough. I have 1 run left... 25 minutes straight, and then after that weeks 7-9 are straight running 25, 28, and 30. Since I run slow I guess 30 minutes won't technically be 3 miles, but since I'm ultimately training for a 10k, I feel like as my length increases, running shorter distances will be easier and I will be able to do it faster. Last night I worked out with weights in the morning, and I just HAD to get in my run (10 minutes running 3 walking 10 running). I was supposed to do it Monday and got halfway through then got the call from my family about my brother and needed to stop. So, it was 2 workouts on Tuesday to keep up!
For me right now, its mind over matter. The 10 minutes, break, 10 minutes last night was killer. Not for my body, but for my mind, which kept telling me "you need to stop, this is too hard, you need water." I kept counting down the minutes, moving my towel over to see the time left. How do I avoid this? How can I train my mind to be somewhere else while my body works?