good things:  I have had NO halloween candy.
bad things: after the party last night, my bff's boyfriend made us go to a diner-- I ate grilled cheese and hashbrowns
I weighed in this morning but hopefully it was water weight that i gained.  ugh.  who knows.  I'm gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt...

sadly, my friend who met me at the gym convinced me that we NEEDED sushi.  At least I got my saki!  I estimated a little high, but said my calories were around 1500 for the day.  I don't think I had THAT much sushi and wine... but who knows?

Today is one of those tough weekend days where you don't know what will happen after work.  I know I have plans to go to my new guy's house... hopefully that isn't until later, and I can have already eaten.

Breakfast: Oatmeal Coffee (190)
Snack: Yogurt (100)
Lunch: Soup (300)
Snack: Fruit (150)
Dinner: ????  Hopefully something I make myself!


Have personal training here in a few minutes.  Hate that I need to tell my trainer I cannot afford her ridiculous plan.  "no contracts" so you pay like... all this money up front, and have sessions just built up.  Sounds like a contract to me.

So far (it's 6:30pm) I've had 940 calories. 
Breakfast: Oatmeal/Yogurt/Coffee
Lunch: Sandwich/Salad
Snacks: 3 mini twix

I am about to go to the gym.. I'd like to stay under 1,000 calories today, but I REALLY REALLY want some liquor.  I seriously would drink liquor for dinner and not eat anything.  BUT  who knows... I don't have any liquor... I have beer and wine. 

I'll have my soup and fruit that I didn't eat tomorrow for lunch

tomorrow:
breakfast: coffee and oatmeal (190)
snack: yogurt (90)
lunch: salad and soup (300) (to be safe)
snack: fruit (150) (to be safe)
dinner: turkey sandwich (250)

total: 981 

i can do this.  GUM and TEA when I'm feeling like eating!

i dont know why i haven't written.  I've been counting my calories like a mad woman.  I guess the fact that I haven't seen real progress is just frustrating.  I know that I have a deficit every week, but the deficit is never as big as I want it to be.  I am losing like.. a pound a month?  Definitely better than gaining a pound a month, but I wouldn't say its good.  I think that we have stopped eating out ALL the time now.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and stocked up on healthy fruits, those sandwich thin things, stuff for soup, carrots... stuff like that.
I LOVE the slow cooker.  I put all the ingredients into the slow cooker last night for the soup and it cooked while I slept.  Now I have a filling lunch!!!  And I'm gonna try to get to the gym tonight.

im just having one of those days when nothing would be better than laying here in bed the entire day.  I have way too much to do today.. I am tired and I feel gross from all the food I have been forcing down.  So many recruiting dinners and lunches for the college kids we want to hire.  I have been trying to eat healthy.. salads with no dressing etc.. but then we have situations where its a fixed menu and there is nothing i can do but eat.  Luckily I have been wise enough the past few days to come home and exercise some of the calories off.  If I wasn't going to the gym I would be gaining weight for sure.  I need to eat more like 1,000 calories.. not 1,900!!! I've been keeping track of my deficit.. its just not ENOUGH.  Even if I were to exercise like crazy, I'd probably eat like crazy too.  UGH.

as an accountant... i like to do calculations.

In the month of October, I would like to lose 5 lbs

3,500 calories/lb * 5 lbs = 17,500 calorie deficit total.

Deficit October 1- October 9 = 2,389 (avg 265 deficit/day)

17,500-2389 = 15,111 left to deficit October 10- October 31

15,111/21 days = 720 calorie deficit/ day to reach my goal

So... I really need to step it up.
If I don't exercise, I can eat approximately 1,000 calories each day to make this goal.  Basically, that means I need to exercise every day, because I really don't see that happening for me.  I mean, it's definitely possible.. but I really SHOULD be exercising every day anyway.  And work is SUPPOSED to slow down for me now.  We'll see about that.

I'm going to think through how to make this happen.  Any suggestions would be appreciated

Liquid fasting.. not a success.  :(
BUT I ate only 900 calories yesterday before I called it a night.. that's like, a record for me.
2 cups of coffee (one misto, one regular),  half a turkey sandwich, berries, string cheese, a handful of popcorn and a handful of pirates booty.
THEN.... I chose to get in bed and turn on Bones.. and I HAD to have the macaroni casserole in my fridge.  I'll say 200 ish.  And I'm counting it in todays food.
I havent decided if I'll try to go liquid again.  I find it very difficult, but I know that nothing worth having is easy.

so... when your boss forces you to go to lunch with her... is it imperative you get the WORST thing on the menu? Yes, apparently for me it is.  Yesterday for lunch I had a huge grilled cheese sandwich with soup and kettle chips.  I ate every single bite.  I felt so guilty about it, I didn't eat either of the healthy snacks I brought to work (Hummus with Carrots and String Cheese).  I will save those for today.  I also didn't eat dinner... Couldn't bring myself to do it.
And when I went to the gym.. I kept counting calories in 100s.  Each 100 calories was another step in the right direction.  I did 30 minutes of Personal Training, a 45 minute Body Works class (weights), and 20 minutes of cardio.  Ended up the day with a 500 calorie deficit.

I've also made it my mission to stop drinking on weekdays.  No one needs that.

i have things to write.. but no time this morning.  must go to personal trainer.
i basically ruined my progress this weekend.  bottle of wine friday... pitcher of beer saturday.
UGH.
Must make up for it this week.  Can't exercise a lot, because I have crazy work to do.
We'll see.