yesterday-- falafel for lunch. 4 big ones, a big pita, salad... very full and bloated afterwards. Should know not to eat that. Have been doing a great job keeping away from the chocolate for sale right next to my desk. I guess if money is involved I won't be tempted.
Need to continue my water intake. Instead I have been downing colas... diet but still. I will make myself a rule-- no soda until I have at least a full liter of water. And then only one. And after that one, must have the 2nd liter before I have any more.
Last night I didnt exercise either because we had a girls night-- watched forgetting sarah marshall (so funny) and ate pizza and tortilla chips and dip. I had almost 3 glasses of wine.. booo. I purged some of the pizza when I got home.. maybe a slice. I still feel fat this morning 144.2.... yesterday morning I was 142.8.
Today I am supposed to go to a mexican restaurant for dinner. I have an Ednos friend at work though who is probably going, so she can keep my hands out of the chip bowl.. or maybe I should just say I need to pack... which I do
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Breakfast- 1 english muffin with ricotta cheese (175). Snack- Granola Bar, Coffee (190), Lunch - Soup (110), Snack- String Cheese (90) Dinner- Leftover Pasta (400), Snack- Popcorn :(300?).
I wish I hadn't eaten that popcorn. So I ended the day around 1300, rounding up. Went to the gym too and did 30 minutes on the bike, level 8 intervals, and leg presses and chest presses. Looking in the mirror I felt a little trimmer... but I really don't know. I don't weigh anything trimmer so thats not saying much
Monday, April 26, 2010
How many people here read their blog subscriptions in google reader? I do... and have you ever noticed that some people's blogs only show the first little section, instead of the whole thing? It is quite annoying, because you have to click on it to see the entire blog, when really i like to have everything all in one space. The only thing I can think is that it has to do with that "content warning" some people put up. Honestly I don't know how important the content warning really is... unless you are writing hardcore entries like Ana, who doesn't even write anymore. Sooo... i would appreciate it if the content warning came off.. but thats just me :)
Saturday I did end up going to the gym for a while 1 hr of cardio, and then chest/arm/back exercises. I enjoyed myself... but then I came home and laid in bed and watched tv the rest of the day. My legs hurt, everything hurt! I went out with friends that night and had a good deal of wine, and unfortunately when I came home I thought it would be acceptable to make myself a quesadilla. Ugh.
Sunday I also exercised-- 1 hr of cardio and abs, and a few leg lifts while I watched desperate housewives. I also lugged some boxes into my new apartment.. which is up a lot of stairs! I went to taco mac for lunch... so much for not eating out for a month. Queso... such a bad idea. After my workout I had a healthy smoothie, and for dinner I had shrimp and pasta... a little too rich for me but oh well.
Today-- I plan on having an english muffin with ricotta cheese, a granola bar, a can of progresso soup, and for dinner the left over shrimp/pasta madness. I also plan on exercising when I come home from work... I have been doing level 8 intervals on the elliptical... when I was in highschool a trainer told me that the only way you see results is if you are doing level 10... but I am working my way up!
Saturday I did end up going to the gym for a while 1 hr of cardio, and then chest/arm/back exercises. I enjoyed myself... but then I came home and laid in bed and watched tv the rest of the day. My legs hurt, everything hurt! I went out with friends that night and had a good deal of wine, and unfortunately when I came home I thought it would be acceptable to make myself a quesadilla. Ugh.
Sunday I also exercised-- 1 hr of cardio and abs, and a few leg lifts while I watched desperate housewives. I also lugged some boxes into my new apartment.. which is up a lot of stairs! I went to taco mac for lunch... so much for not eating out for a month. Queso... such a bad idea. After my workout I had a healthy smoothie, and for dinner I had shrimp and pasta... a little too rich for me but oh well.
Today-- I plan on having an english muffin with ricotta cheese, a granola bar, a can of progresso soup, and for dinner the left over shrimp/pasta madness. I also plan on exercising when I come home from work... I have been doing level 8 intervals on the elliptical... when I was in highschool a trainer told me that the only way you see results is if you are doing level 10... but I am working my way up!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
it is a lazy saturday.
i need to get my butt to the gym and work out since its pouring down rain, and none of my friends want to get together.
i have already spent $500 over my budget for this month because of the Vegas trip... so I can't do anything fun at all until... well, never.
even on May 1st, when I get paid again, I have to pay rent at my new apartment, and half a month's rent at the old apartment. oh AND the old apartment is telling me that actually I need to pay a full month's rent there because I didn't give 60 days notice... WTF!? How does that even work? I signed a 12 month lease... shouldn't the lease just be over in 12 months? Maybe they will work with me.. I really cannot afford $2000, when I only get paid $3,000 a month.
I need to get my life in order.
Byron is taking up all my thoughts. My friend sent me pictures of the two of us from the night we met, I have a drooping chin, and I had to crop out my stomach. I need motivation to work out and feel good.
Yesterday I did well food wise until dinner- I had pinapple, carrots, and 3 cubes of cheese, as well as a few sips of frappucino while at work. I got home and went to the gym for 40 minutes...probably not burning anything.. then I made a bag of chicken stirfry and 2 peices of texas toast, and ate the ENTIRE thing!!! The stirfry was 600 cals, and the bread was 360. Oh and I had some wine too. At least I rounded out the day not TOOO bad. I was at 144.4 this morning. Maybe I'll spend the entire day exercising. I don't see why not.
i need to get my butt to the gym and work out since its pouring down rain, and none of my friends want to get together.
i have already spent $500 over my budget for this month because of the Vegas trip... so I can't do anything fun at all until... well, never.
even on May 1st, when I get paid again, I have to pay rent at my new apartment, and half a month's rent at the old apartment. oh AND the old apartment is telling me that actually I need to pay a full month's rent there because I didn't give 60 days notice... WTF!? How does that even work? I signed a 12 month lease... shouldn't the lease just be over in 12 months? Maybe they will work with me.. I really cannot afford $2000, when I only get paid $3,000 a month.
I need to get my life in order.
Byron is taking up all my thoughts. My friend sent me pictures of the two of us from the night we met, I have a drooping chin, and I had to crop out my stomach. I need motivation to work out and feel good.Yesterday I did well food wise until dinner- I had pinapple, carrots, and 3 cubes of cheese, as well as a few sips of frappucino while at work. I got home and went to the gym for 40 minutes...probably not burning anything.. then I made a bag of chicken stirfry and 2 peices of texas toast, and ate the ENTIRE thing!!! The stirfry was 600 cals, and the bread was 360. Oh and I had some wine too. At least I rounded out the day not TOOO bad. I was at 144.4 this morning. Maybe I'll spend the entire day exercising. I don't see why not.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
i have been in vegas-- a little trip to celebrate the end of tax season with my girfriends. SO fun. We drank... A LOT. and I met a boy at a club and fell in love. His name is Byron and he lives in Denver... so we will obviously be seeing a lot of each other (ha). I do think he is just wonderful... and I like him a lot because he is so far away! I have decided I am great at committing when I don't have to actually commit.
We took zantrax to stay awake and walked A LOT... so luckily my heavy drinking was negated and I came back no heavier than when I left... I was a little worried about that but it ended up being no big deal.
Vegas is.. crazy. Expensive... intoxicating. I want to go back... and not go back ever again.
I am sleeping with the guy in the previous post still. After my whining... I just called him and he took me to dinner and we had wonderful sex. And we talked about how we don't want a relationship at all... he seemed worried that I would change my mind.... NOT for him! I texted him on the planeride back and he came over last night too... He couldn't perform. It was embarrassing because we haven't been "together" that long. Oh well... I had him service me, and then asked him to leave so I could get some sleep. He mumbled something about being really busy for the next week or two... whatever.
I called Byron after he left and talked to him for 2 hours. I am exhausted today!
Yesterday I ate oatmeal, a small smoothie from Smoothie King, two mini pb eggs, coffee, and 2 beers. I didn't have time to work out because my bootycall was coming over, but I didn't eat hardly anything so I figured no big deal. I could have gone to bed without any more food but after being on the phone with Byron I got hungry and ate a bowl of chips. Booo.
Today I will not exercise either. I am going to my old college to a reception for a retiring professor.
We took zantrax to stay awake and walked A LOT... so luckily my heavy drinking was negated and I came back no heavier than when I left... I was a little worried about that but it ended up being no big deal.
Vegas is.. crazy. Expensive... intoxicating. I want to go back... and not go back ever again.
I am sleeping with the guy in the previous post still. After my whining... I just called him and he took me to dinner and we had wonderful sex. And we talked about how we don't want a relationship at all... he seemed worried that I would change my mind.... NOT for him! I texted him on the planeride back and he came over last night too... He couldn't perform. It was embarrassing because we haven't been "together" that long. Oh well... I had him service me, and then asked him to leave so I could get some sleep. He mumbled something about being really busy for the next week or two... whatever.
I called Byron after he left and talked to him for 2 hours. I am exhausted today!
Yesterday I ate oatmeal, a small smoothie from Smoothie King, two mini pb eggs, coffee, and 2 beers. I didn't have time to work out because my bootycall was coming over, but I didn't eat hardly anything so I figured no big deal. I could have gone to bed without any more food but after being on the phone with Byron I got hungry and ate a bowl of chips. Booo.
Today I will not exercise either. I am going to my old college to a reception for a retiring professor.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Dear Zoe,
this is a post just for you. i am going to tell you all the things i did in my life (its not much longer than yours, but the difference between 17 and 24 is immense)... and i hope you can take some solice in the fact that you ARE young, and have many years to NOT make mistakes.
When I was 16 I had sex with Alex- I met him in the dominican on a family vacation. I loved him instantly. He took me to his prom (we lived 5 hours apart), and we did it after prop like you always hear about. I was so drunk... I wasn't ready, but I just wanted to be grown up. It was a bad idea. We just did it that one time... I had to go back home, he went to college a year before me, and we have only seen each other randomly since then. I love him still I think... but possibly because I have never spent enough time with him to ever learn the annoying things about him.
When I was 16 I became very aware of my body. 17 and 18 were the years where I decided I was not interested in being overweight. Everyone at my school had SOMETHING. I had nothing. I was a wannabe dancer, a wannabe singer... I wanted something. I starved myself for two years. I remember the day I started... probably the single most defining day of my life. I wrote in a diary how much I weighed, and vowed never to weigh that much again. I researched tips and tricks for losing weight... I started taking diet pills. I would wake up early in the morning and do an exercise video before my parents woke up, then I would go to the gym after dinner for 2 hours. Senior year of highschool I was at 122... I think that was my lowest weight. Looking back... that was really skinny for my body type... but I didn't care. I would eat in the morning, yogurt or toast or something, then starve until dinner, and pick at my food.. whatever it was. I remember my parents finding my ephedrine-- this diet drug that got recalled after it gave people heart attacks. I bought it online and took it all the time. I was defiant.. I just wanted to be thin... and I applied to colleges as far away as possible in order to avoid having to listen to anyone else. Senior year of highschool I slept with my next boy-- Austin. He loved me. We dated for 3 weeks before we had sex. It was such a bad idea. Our entire relationship was based on physical desire. I just wanted someone to love me... I was scared about moving to a new state for college and not knowing anyone. Obviously it didn't last... I regret it. Advice-- sex is supposed to be something good...don't do it just because you want to "get it over with"
In college I had a random hook up with some random guy... I honestly don't remember his name. It didn't make me feel good in the morning... just stupid. I think it was at this point that I started equating sex with love. They are not the same thing. I started sleeping with another guy and I "fell in love with him"... he cheated on me... but I didn't seem to even notice because I "was in love."
The one thing I did do that I will never regret is pick Accounting as my major. Two things in life are sure-- death and taxes. I will never be without a job, and I can always support myself. I have a sense of accomplishment knowing that if I am alone (like I am now), I don't have to worry. I have a skill that is in high demand, and my firm is hiring in a terrible recession. Advice- pick a major that has a sustainable career at the end of the degree. It is all well and good to major in what you love.. but it doesn't pay the bills. My best friend graduated with an English degree. She can talk for hours about books, and write essays in her sleep, but she waits tables for a living, and is having to go back to college to get an education degree so she can actually do something respectable.
I started dating George as soon as I broke up with the cheater. Pretty much instantly actually. I spent no time at all in college being single, except for a few weeks at the beginning after Austin and I broke up. Another mistake. I refused to learn how to be by myself. I can take care of myself... yes, but today.. this is my first experience truly alone, without anyone as a crutch. I leaned on him and grew to love him... actually I grew to ignore or change the things I did not love about him. His addictive personality... smoking weed, cutting class, having no regard for the future, and no ambitions. I tried to mold him into someone who would be what I needed. Truly he was my best friend for many years. An opposite of me really.. a half to make me whole.
When I was 20 I got arrested for underage drinking. Try not to do this. I went to a party school.... almost everyone I knew got arrested, but still.. I have a record now, and that really sucks. I don't see anything wrong with drinking... but if you are underage.. just do it in private.. not at a bowling alley where you pass out in the bathroom.
I moved to another country for a semester and had no more crutch. My first experience of freedom really... and I loved it. I felt out of control... but I COULD control food, and exercise. Bulimia was my best friend. I lost almost 20 pounds in the 3 months I was there. Getting down to my high school weight 122 and fitting into a dress my 9 year old cousin lent me. 122 may seem like a lot... but I didn't have even one ounce of fat on me. Body type I guess... I kissed another American. I felt the love welling up in me again. I didn't sleep with him. I did tell George. He has held it over my head for 4 years... Advice-- don't tell. It doesn't make things better. I told him about my control issues... and he held that over my head too. Just... keep quiet about the things in your life that are shocking. or type it out here. You don't need judgment. People here don't judge.
I moved to Atlanta after I graduated with my undergrad degree and started an internship with an Accounting firm. George was losing me. He proposed to me because he realized that I was the one good thing in his life.. I was stable, smart, strong, ambitious.. everything he needed. I was his crutch. I said yes because I didn't want to say no. We had talked about marriage... I didn't want to, but I didn't want to break up. He was my crutch. Never having to face the world alone... so I said yes. He failed miserably the next year while I was in graduate school. He had one class to take and refused to get a job. He just went into debt, sat around smoking weed and apparently drinking like a fish.
I never noticed any of this... I was too busy studying in order to make sure my future... OUR future.. would be a good one. Advice-- don't count on anyone else to support you. I think I already gave that one to you... okay how about this-- don't do something you don't want to do just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, and don't make life changing decisions you know in your heart are wrong.
When I graduated and moved back to Atlanta, we moved in together. We fought all the time. He couldn't find a job... hadn't had a job in a year.. I started starving for a wedding I didn't even want. I spent money I didn't have because it made things "better". I went into $5000 of debt to avoid the fact that we were unhappy. I purged every day. EVERY DAY. When I started working and got insurance... I found out that I had 6 cavities... most likely from throwing up every day for months and months. Advice-- don't throw up... think of a different way to relieve stress. Even though I don't have George in my life anymore, I am still a "stress bulimic"... whenever I get stressed out (during tax season), the first place I head is the bathroom. I don't even binge... I just... have it ingrained in my head that the act of purging makes the bad things go away. I feel way better after I do it... its weird. Probably not something for you to start, okay?
George started pushing me around and getting violent. He got drunk and angry at the fact that I was the only one supporting us. I started eating... I started staying late at work to avoid any confrontation. He crashed my brand new car driving intoxicated. I made excuses for his behavior. I believed every lie he told me. Advice-- if you catch someone in a lie... DO NOT continue to trust them. One lie will lead to another. Some people are good at manipulating a situation and changing the way reality is viewed. Be careful of these people.. they will ruin your life. I married George at the court house-- after he beat me up once. I was afraid to lose what I had. Assumed that I could be happy without being in love. He did it again... Advice-- DO NOT stay in an abusive relationship. It doesn't change, no matter how much you want it to.
We separated in December. I forced him to move away and leave me alone. It was really the hardest thing I've done... but if I am honest with myself, it has been the best experience ever.
You have read my recent posts... about my conquests for men. I am damaged goods. I am not looking for love... that didn't work out for me. I am using sex as a means of control... because I can't control my life. Well.. I am working on it... but you know... I am just... so damaged. I can't lose the weight that George put on me.. the stress I carry around every day. I can't even imagine giving everything I have to someone else.. trusting another human. I just... won't do it. DON'T let this happen to you. The life I have right now is... FUN.. and I am still young so I think its acceptable... but do NOT aspire to be like me. I sleep alone not because I want to... but because I am afraid of ever sharing that intimacy again. It's only been a year since the violence started, and 5 months since the separation... I am sure that as time passes I will get better.
So yes.. the boys I sleep with.. VERY cute... VERY fun... but make sure that if thats what you decide to do... you don't do it in hopes of falling in love... because that is not how it works.
I love you Zoe,
Love,
K
this is a post just for you. i am going to tell you all the things i did in my life (its not much longer than yours, but the difference between 17 and 24 is immense)... and i hope you can take some solice in the fact that you ARE young, and have many years to NOT make mistakes.
When I was 16 I had sex with Alex- I met him in the dominican on a family vacation. I loved him instantly. He took me to his prom (we lived 5 hours apart), and we did it after prop like you always hear about. I was so drunk... I wasn't ready, but I just wanted to be grown up. It was a bad idea. We just did it that one time... I had to go back home, he went to college a year before me, and we have only seen each other randomly since then. I love him still I think... but possibly because I have never spent enough time with him to ever learn the annoying things about him.
When I was 16 I became very aware of my body. 17 and 18 were the years where I decided I was not interested in being overweight. Everyone at my school had SOMETHING. I had nothing. I was a wannabe dancer, a wannabe singer... I wanted something. I starved myself for two years. I remember the day I started... probably the single most defining day of my life. I wrote in a diary how much I weighed, and vowed never to weigh that much again. I researched tips and tricks for losing weight... I started taking diet pills. I would wake up early in the morning and do an exercise video before my parents woke up, then I would go to the gym after dinner for 2 hours. Senior year of highschool I was at 122... I think that was my lowest weight. Looking back... that was really skinny for my body type... but I didn't care. I would eat in the morning, yogurt or toast or something, then starve until dinner, and pick at my food.. whatever it was. I remember my parents finding my ephedrine-- this diet drug that got recalled after it gave people heart attacks. I bought it online and took it all the time. I was defiant.. I just wanted to be thin... and I applied to colleges as far away as possible in order to avoid having to listen to anyone else. Senior year of highschool I slept with my next boy-- Austin. He loved me. We dated for 3 weeks before we had sex. It was such a bad idea. Our entire relationship was based on physical desire. I just wanted someone to love me... I was scared about moving to a new state for college and not knowing anyone. Obviously it didn't last... I regret it. Advice-- sex is supposed to be something good...don't do it just because you want to "get it over with"
In college I had a random hook up with some random guy... I honestly don't remember his name. It didn't make me feel good in the morning... just stupid. I think it was at this point that I started equating sex with love. They are not the same thing. I started sleeping with another guy and I "fell in love with him"... he cheated on me... but I didn't seem to even notice because I "was in love."
The one thing I did do that I will never regret is pick Accounting as my major. Two things in life are sure-- death and taxes. I will never be without a job, and I can always support myself. I have a sense of accomplishment knowing that if I am alone (like I am now), I don't have to worry. I have a skill that is in high demand, and my firm is hiring in a terrible recession. Advice- pick a major that has a sustainable career at the end of the degree. It is all well and good to major in what you love.. but it doesn't pay the bills. My best friend graduated with an English degree. She can talk for hours about books, and write essays in her sleep, but she waits tables for a living, and is having to go back to college to get an education degree so she can actually do something respectable.
I started dating George as soon as I broke up with the cheater. Pretty much instantly actually. I spent no time at all in college being single, except for a few weeks at the beginning after Austin and I broke up. Another mistake. I refused to learn how to be by myself. I can take care of myself... yes, but today.. this is my first experience truly alone, without anyone as a crutch. I leaned on him and grew to love him... actually I grew to ignore or change the things I did not love about him. His addictive personality... smoking weed, cutting class, having no regard for the future, and no ambitions. I tried to mold him into someone who would be what I needed. Truly he was my best friend for many years. An opposite of me really.. a half to make me whole.
When I was 20 I got arrested for underage drinking. Try not to do this. I went to a party school.... almost everyone I knew got arrested, but still.. I have a record now, and that really sucks. I don't see anything wrong with drinking... but if you are underage.. just do it in private.. not at a bowling alley where you pass out in the bathroom.
I moved to another country for a semester and had no more crutch. My first experience of freedom really... and I loved it. I felt out of control... but I COULD control food, and exercise. Bulimia was my best friend. I lost almost 20 pounds in the 3 months I was there. Getting down to my high school weight 122 and fitting into a dress my 9 year old cousin lent me. 122 may seem like a lot... but I didn't have even one ounce of fat on me. Body type I guess... I kissed another American. I felt the love welling up in me again. I didn't sleep with him. I did tell George. He has held it over my head for 4 years... Advice-- don't tell. It doesn't make things better. I told him about my control issues... and he held that over my head too. Just... keep quiet about the things in your life that are shocking. or type it out here. You don't need judgment. People here don't judge.
I moved to Atlanta after I graduated with my undergrad degree and started an internship with an Accounting firm. George was losing me. He proposed to me because he realized that I was the one good thing in his life.. I was stable, smart, strong, ambitious.. everything he needed. I was his crutch. I said yes because I didn't want to say no. We had talked about marriage... I didn't want to, but I didn't want to break up. He was my crutch. Never having to face the world alone... so I said yes. He failed miserably the next year while I was in graduate school. He had one class to take and refused to get a job. He just went into debt, sat around smoking weed and apparently drinking like a fish.
I never noticed any of this... I was too busy studying in order to make sure my future... OUR future.. would be a good one. Advice-- don't count on anyone else to support you. I think I already gave that one to you... okay how about this-- don't do something you don't want to do just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, and don't make life changing decisions you know in your heart are wrong.
When I graduated and moved back to Atlanta, we moved in together. We fought all the time. He couldn't find a job... hadn't had a job in a year.. I started starving for a wedding I didn't even want. I spent money I didn't have because it made things "better". I went into $5000 of debt to avoid the fact that we were unhappy. I purged every day. EVERY DAY. When I started working and got insurance... I found out that I had 6 cavities... most likely from throwing up every day for months and months. Advice-- don't throw up... think of a different way to relieve stress. Even though I don't have George in my life anymore, I am still a "stress bulimic"... whenever I get stressed out (during tax season), the first place I head is the bathroom. I don't even binge... I just... have it ingrained in my head that the act of purging makes the bad things go away. I feel way better after I do it... its weird. Probably not something for you to start, okay?
George started pushing me around and getting violent. He got drunk and angry at the fact that I was the only one supporting us. I started eating... I started staying late at work to avoid any confrontation. He crashed my brand new car driving intoxicated. I made excuses for his behavior. I believed every lie he told me. Advice-- if you catch someone in a lie... DO NOT continue to trust them. One lie will lead to another. Some people are good at manipulating a situation and changing the way reality is viewed. Be careful of these people.. they will ruin your life. I married George at the court house-- after he beat me up once. I was afraid to lose what I had. Assumed that I could be happy without being in love. He did it again... Advice-- DO NOT stay in an abusive relationship. It doesn't change, no matter how much you want it to.
We separated in December. I forced him to move away and leave me alone. It was really the hardest thing I've done... but if I am honest with myself, it has been the best experience ever.
You have read my recent posts... about my conquests for men. I am damaged goods. I am not looking for love... that didn't work out for me. I am using sex as a means of control... because I can't control my life. Well.. I am working on it... but you know... I am just... so damaged. I can't lose the weight that George put on me.. the stress I carry around every day. I can't even imagine giving everything I have to someone else.. trusting another human. I just... won't do it. DON'T let this happen to you. The life I have right now is... FUN.. and I am still young so I think its acceptable... but do NOT aspire to be like me. I sleep alone not because I want to... but because I am afraid of ever sharing that intimacy again. It's only been a year since the violence started, and 5 months since the separation... I am sure that as time passes I will get better.
So yes.. the boys I sleep with.. VERY cute... VERY fun... but make sure that if thats what you decide to do... you don't do it in hopes of falling in love... because that is not how it works.
I love you Zoe,
Love,
K
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
i cannot believe i am obsessing over this. how ridiculous. just a stupid boy-- why do i care? i guess because i put myself out there like.. totally.
i took advice and didn't message him after he said he would be busy Monday and Tuesday... Tuesday morning I got a FB message from the night before saying "And you were a good lay also... haha"
Sort of an afterthought? A good one I think though. At least I was on his mind.
So now it is Wednesday morning... and I am obsessing over this. Will he call me tonight, will he not? Of course I had two guys ask me to dinner this week... and had to turn both of them down **IN CASE** my stupid booty call actually calls. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF.
Showing Pictures:
His nice muscles.... if only the face was as good
and me: (right, obviously)
i took advice and didn't message him after he said he would be busy Monday and Tuesday... Tuesday morning I got a FB message from the night before saying "And you were a good lay also... haha"
Sort of an afterthought? A good one I think though. At least I was on his mind.
So now it is Wednesday morning... and I am obsessing over this. Will he call me tonight, will he not? Of course I had two guys ask me to dinner this week... and had to turn both of them down **IN CASE** my stupid booty call actually calls. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF.
Showing Pictures:
His nice muscles.... if only the face was as good
and me: (right, obviously)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)