Today I heard about a site called DietBet.  They host 28 day challenges and if you hit the target goal, you win your money back and then split the pot with the other winners. If you don't hit your target, your money goes into the pot for the winners. 

I signed up for the Blogilates challenge, which starts June 1st. It's $25 to join and  the goal is 4% weight loss. I think this is exactly what I need to motivate me. It's a small amount of money, but money is always motivating, and I was just talking about how I need to work on being good on weekends. If you're interested, here is the link... http://bit.ly/118hb0d

First, a thank you to Kitty and Miranda for being my friends. It's weird that I don't even know what you look like and I think of you as people I truly trust...
Second, the food as fuel update. I had a small break from traveling and visited Steven at his house for his birthday. Monday morning I decided to weigh myself and assess the damage. I never weigh on Mondays because I feel like there is residual weekend water weight you have left to lose, but I had no choice as I wanted to weigh before I flew to Charlotte.
149.8
Now, this is a lot. And I'm not going to rationalize that because its no where close to goal. But if I can not weigh in for a month and still weigh in at 149.8 on a Monday I think I'm doing pretty good!
Maybe I'm really a little less than that since I was holding on to weekend weight.... But regardless that's what I weighed while counting calories for an entire year... And now I kind of feel free

I'm going to keep telling myself to eat food that makes me feel good, and I'll weigh in again soon for a progress update.

Just another thought... It bothers me that some of my readers are concerned about my relationship with Steven. This is a place I use to vent, and it kind of hurts that I'm not allowed to so that without hearing that I've possibly made a mistake about him. Perhaps it's something I just need not to talk about here. Or maybe I need to write more often about the wonderful parts of our relationship.

I'm having a hardish week. Work stuff mostly that I don't want to talk about.

I haven't weighed myself in nearly a month- I think this is some type of record. I brought my scale over to my bfs house and I forgot to bring it back. I haven't been over there often and I always forget to grab it. I've also stopped counting calories, at the request of my counselor. She thinks maybe I should focus on eating food that makes me feel good instead of constantly stressing about how much goes into my body and freaking out when it's too much.
I'm kind of scared. What if this causes me to gain!? I really have been considering food as fuel for the last few weeks, and making choices not based on calories but instead what I need. Obviously this doesn't work for every meal or every occasion, but it's definitely a different mindset and an interesting twist to my already stressful life.